George Bush is visiting the Queen of England.
He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient
government? Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people."
Bush frowns, "But how do I know the people around me are really
intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea.
"Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence
riddle."
The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send The Prime
Minister in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Your Majesty...."
The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and
father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your
sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Blair answers, "That would be me!"
"Yes! Very good!" says the Queen.
Back at the White House, Bush calls in his vice president, Dick
Cheney.
"Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child.
It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on
that one."
Dick Cheney goes to his advisers and asks every one, but none can
give him an answer.
Finall! y, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin
Powell's shoes in the next stall.
Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and
father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is
it?"
Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"
Cheney goes back to the Oval Office and asks to speak with Bush.
"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle.
It's Colin Powell."
Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his
face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!
2005-12-18
2005-12-08
2005-11-20
Lonely and bored
what to do? i know i should be productive.......so easy to be lazy. and my bed is so comfy.
maybe i will dye my hair.
maybe i will dye my hair.
2005-11-12
My entire world looks brick red.
My entire world looks brick red.
Ive realized I am incredibly bored with life. Ive experienced every emotion i can imagine in one form or another. there is no way i can accomplish all that i had hoped for at this point, so my ambition, my drive is pretty much shot.
Im bored.
the only reason i move at all is because i am bored sitting still for to long.
I have incredible urges to self medicate, so much so that i have officially labeled myself an alchoholic.
If im fucked up then maybe i wont realize what really isnt there.
Im tired of being fed life in convenient 30 minute blocks with laugh track included.
but somehow it makes me feel better if i laugh when i am supposed to laugh. even if i dont really laugh.
Ive realized I am incredibly bored with life. Ive experienced every emotion i can imagine in one form or another. there is no way i can accomplish all that i had hoped for at this point, so my ambition, my drive is pretty much shot.
Im bored.
the only reason i move at all is because i am bored sitting still for to long.
I have incredible urges to self medicate, so much so that i have officially labeled myself an alchoholic.
If im fucked up then maybe i wont realize what really isnt there.
Im tired of being fed life in convenient 30 minute blocks with laugh track included.
but somehow it makes me feel better if i laugh when i am supposed to laugh. even if i dont really laugh.
2005-10-19
L.O.A.
I'm putting myself on a leave of absence. I will return soon when i have managed to pull myself a little bit out of "the job-the other job-searching for job" - stresspool that is my everyday life. For now, know that I am currently afraid of toilets. More to come on that subject later.
2005-10-06
2005-09-24
Sparta TN is next!
Ok, so apprently EVERYPLACE i grew up is destined to be under water. First New Orleans, the the news just informed me that Beaumont TX is now evacuated and flooded as well. Only one place left, but its landlocked so Im almost curious how mother nature is gonna get to that one.
2005-09-22
id better get crackin.'
Hi merideth!
Your Personnel expected death date is 09 July 2058
You have excatly 19283 days to live. Have a nice day.
Your Personnel expected death date is 09 July 2058
You have excatly 19283 days to live. Have a nice day.
2005-09-19
Michael Moore is still pissed
To All My Fellow Americans Who Voted for George W. Bush:
On this, the fourth anniversary of 9/11, I'm just curious, how does it feel?
How does it feel to know that the man you elected to lead us after we were attacked went ahead and put a guy in charge of FEMA whose main qualification was that he ran horse shows?
That's right. Horse shows.
I really want to know -- and I ask you this in all sincerity and with all due respect -- how do you feel about the utter contempt Mr. Bush has shown for your safety? C'mon, give me just a moment of honesty. Don't start ranting on about how this disaster in New Orleans was the fault of one of the poorest cities in America. Put aside your hatred of Democrats and liberals and anyone with the last name of Clinton. Just look me in the eye and tell me our President did the right thing after 9/11 by naming a horse show runner as the top man to protect us in case of an emergency or catastrophe.
I want you to put aside your self-affixed label of Republican/conservative/born-again/capitalist/ditto-head/right-winger and just talk to me as an American, on the common ground we both call America.
Are we safer now than before 9/11? When you learn that behind the horse show runner, the ..2 and ..3 men in charge of emergency preparedness have zero experience in emergency preparedness, do you think we are safer?
When you look at Michael Chertoff, the head of Homeland Security, a man with little experience in national security, do you feel secure?
When men who never served in the military and have never seen young men die in battle send our young people off to war, do you think they know how to conduct a war? Do they know what it means to have your legs blown off for a threat that was never there?
Do you really believe that turning over important government services to private corporations has resulted in better services for the people?
Why do you hate our federal government so much? You have voted for politicians for the past 25 years whose main goal has been to de-fund the federal government. Do you think that cutting federal programs like FEMA and the Army Corps of Engineers has been good or bad for America? GOOD OR BAD?
With the nation's debt at an all-time high, do you think tax cuts for the rich are still a good idea? Will you give yours back so hundreds of thousands of homeless in New Orleans can have a home?
Do you believe in Jesus? Really? Didn't he say that we would be judged by how we treat the least among us? Hurricane Katrina came in and blew off the facade that we were a nation with liberty and justice for all. The wind howled and the water rose and what was revealed was that the poor in America shall be left to suffer and die while the President of the United States fiddles and tells them to eat cake.
That's not a joke. The day the hurricane hit and the levees broke, Mr. Bush, John McCain and their rich pals were stuffing themselves with cake. A full day after the levees broke (the same levees whose repair funding he had cut), Mr. Bush was playing a guitar some country singer gave him. All this while New Orleans sank under water.
It would take ANOTHER day before the President would do a flyover in his jumbo jet, peeking out the widow at the misery 2500 feet below him as he flew back to his second home in DC. It would then be TWO MORE DAYS before a trickle of federal aid and troops would arrive. This was no seven minutes in a sitting trance while children read "My Pet Goat" to him. This was FOUR DAYS of doing nothing other than saying "Brownie (FEMA director Michael Brown), you're doing a heck of a job!"
My Republican friends, does it bother you that we are the laughing stock of the world?
And on this sacred day of remembrance, do you think we honor or shame those who died on 9/11/01? If we learned nothing and find ourselves today every bit as vulnerable and unprepared as we were on that bright sunny morning, then did the 3,000 die in vain?
Our vulnerability is not just about dealing with terrorists or natural disasters. We are vulnerable and unsafe because we allow one in eight Americans to live in horrible poverty. We accept an education system where one in six children never graduate and most of those who do can't string a coherent sentence together. The middle class can't pay the mortgage or the hospital bills and 45 million have no health coverage whatsoever.
Are we safe? Do you really feel safe? You can only move so far out and build so many gated communities before the fruit of what you've sown will be crashing through your walls and demanding retribution. Do you really want to wait until that happens? Or is it your hope that if they are left alone long enough to soil themselves and shoot themselves and drown in the filth that fills the street that maybe the problem will somehow go away?
I know you know better. You gave the country and the world a man who wasn't up for the job and all he does is hire people who aren't up for the job. You did this to us, to the world, to the people of New Orleans. Please fix it. Bush is yours. And you know, for our peace and safety and security, this has to be fixed. What do you propose?
I have an idea, and it isn't a horse show.
Yours,
Michael Moore
On this, the fourth anniversary of 9/11, I'm just curious, how does it feel?
How does it feel to know that the man you elected to lead us after we were attacked went ahead and put a guy in charge of FEMA whose main qualification was that he ran horse shows?
That's right. Horse shows.
I really want to know -- and I ask you this in all sincerity and with all due respect -- how do you feel about the utter contempt Mr. Bush has shown for your safety? C'mon, give me just a moment of honesty. Don't start ranting on about how this disaster in New Orleans was the fault of one of the poorest cities in America. Put aside your hatred of Democrats and liberals and anyone with the last name of Clinton. Just look me in the eye and tell me our President did the right thing after 9/11 by naming a horse show runner as the top man to protect us in case of an emergency or catastrophe.
I want you to put aside your self-affixed label of Republican/conservative/born-again/capitalist/ditto-head/right-winger and just talk to me as an American, on the common ground we both call America.
Are we safer now than before 9/11? When you learn that behind the horse show runner, the ..2 and ..3 men in charge of emergency preparedness have zero experience in emergency preparedness, do you think we are safer?
When you look at Michael Chertoff, the head of Homeland Security, a man with little experience in national security, do you feel secure?
When men who never served in the military and have never seen young men die in battle send our young people off to war, do you think they know how to conduct a war? Do they know what it means to have your legs blown off for a threat that was never there?
Do you really believe that turning over important government services to private corporations has resulted in better services for the people?
Why do you hate our federal government so much? You have voted for politicians for the past 25 years whose main goal has been to de-fund the federal government. Do you think that cutting federal programs like FEMA and the Army Corps of Engineers has been good or bad for America? GOOD OR BAD?
With the nation's debt at an all-time high, do you think tax cuts for the rich are still a good idea? Will you give yours back so hundreds of thousands of homeless in New Orleans can have a home?
Do you believe in Jesus? Really? Didn't he say that we would be judged by how we treat the least among us? Hurricane Katrina came in and blew off the facade that we were a nation with liberty and justice for all. The wind howled and the water rose and what was revealed was that the poor in America shall be left to suffer and die while the President of the United States fiddles and tells them to eat cake.
That's not a joke. The day the hurricane hit and the levees broke, Mr. Bush, John McCain and their rich pals were stuffing themselves with cake. A full day after the levees broke (the same levees whose repair funding he had cut), Mr. Bush was playing a guitar some country singer gave him. All this while New Orleans sank under water.
It would take ANOTHER day before the President would do a flyover in his jumbo jet, peeking out the widow at the misery 2500 feet below him as he flew back to his second home in DC. It would then be TWO MORE DAYS before a trickle of federal aid and troops would arrive. This was no seven minutes in a sitting trance while children read "My Pet Goat" to him. This was FOUR DAYS of doing nothing other than saying "Brownie (FEMA director Michael Brown), you're doing a heck of a job!"
My Republican friends, does it bother you that we are the laughing stock of the world?
And on this sacred day of remembrance, do you think we honor or shame those who died on 9/11/01? If we learned nothing and find ourselves today every bit as vulnerable and unprepared as we were on that bright sunny morning, then did the 3,000 die in vain?
Our vulnerability is not just about dealing with terrorists or natural disasters. We are vulnerable and unsafe because we allow one in eight Americans to live in horrible poverty. We accept an education system where one in six children never graduate and most of those who do can't string a coherent sentence together. The middle class can't pay the mortgage or the hospital bills and 45 million have no health coverage whatsoever.
Are we safe? Do you really feel safe? You can only move so far out and build so many gated communities before the fruit of what you've sown will be crashing through your walls and demanding retribution. Do you really want to wait until that happens? Or is it your hope that if they are left alone long enough to soil themselves and shoot themselves and drown in the filth that fills the street that maybe the problem will somehow go away?
I know you know better. You gave the country and the world a man who wasn't up for the job and all he does is hire people who aren't up for the job. You did this to us, to the world, to the people of New Orleans. Please fix it. Bush is yours. And you know, for our peace and safety and security, this has to be fixed. What do you propose?
I have an idea, and it isn't a horse show.
Yours,
Michael Moore
2005-09-16
Please choose
1. Accountant
2. Math/Physics Teacher
3. Graphic Designer
4. Musician
5. Writer
6. Cinematographer
7. FX MakeUp Artist
8. Astronomer
Please choose your favorite career from the list. I need feedback.
2. Math/Physics Teacher
3. Graphic Designer
4. Musician
5. Writer
6. Cinematographer
7. FX MakeUp Artist
8. Astronomer
Please choose your favorite career from the list. I need feedback.
2005-09-14
Ow.
I think my headaches are coming back. Searing, throbbing, pulsing pain. Christ.
Any advice is appreciated.
Any advice is appreciated.
2005-09-09
The Lost City
"...when Air Force One dipped below the clouds on Wednesday so the president could peer out the window down at the disaster, the image was uncomfortably imperial. "
*also interesting
*also interesting
2005-09-06
boogers
my hair is getting long. i just looked at pictures of me on my birthday last year at the vegetarian restaurant in the village. the appetizers were good, but after that everything tasted like soy. even the soda. weird.
I have been asked to perform in the TGI Friday's Bartender Olympics in the middle of October, so thats kinda cool. As long as i dont give myself another bloody nose by misjudging where im throwing the shaker.
Stay tuned. More to come.
I have been asked to perform in the TGI Friday's Bartender Olympics in the middle of October, so thats kinda cool. As long as i dont give myself another bloody nose by misjudging where im throwing the shaker.
Stay tuned. More to come.
2005-09-02
Michael Moore's Letter to George Bush
Vacation is Over... an open letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush
Friday, September 2nd, 2005
Dear Mr. Bush:
Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag.
Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping with national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?
Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure showed her!
I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?
And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!
On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.
There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.
No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30 percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with this!
You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.
Yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
www.MichaelMoore.com
P.S. That annoying mother, Cindy Sheehan, is no longer at your ranch. She and dozens of other relatives of the Iraqi War dead are now driving across the country, stopping in many cities along the way. Maybe you can catch up with them before they get to DC on September 21st.
Friday, September 2nd, 2005
Dear Mr. Bush:
Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag.
Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping with national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?
Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure showed her!
I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?
And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!
On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.
There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.
No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30 percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with this!
You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.
Yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
www.MichaelMoore.com
P.S. That annoying mother, Cindy Sheehan, is no longer at your ranch. She and dozens of other relatives of the Iraqi War dead are now driving across the country, stopping in many cities along the way. Maybe you can catch up with them before they get to DC on September 21st.
2005-08-31
My City is Gone
This is how people that once lived in NYC must've felt when 9/11 happened. The city I grew up in is gone. I will never again be able to stand in the French Quarter and haggle with the wacky Liberian guy over his cheap jewelry or stand on the levee and look out into the Gulf of Mexico or rightfully complain how Jax Brewery had turned from a brewery into a shopping mall or walk around plastered on Bourbon Street at 2 in the afternoon or stand back in awe at the incredible fusion of French and Spanish architechture that made the buildings so unique.
From what I understand, all of that is gone. It's been said New Orleans will never recover. They arent letting people back into the city for at least 3 months. When the rescue workers encounter a house with dead bodies, they simply mark the door with an "X" and move on to look for survivors. My brother in law is now on his way down from Mobile, AL to join the search and rescue efforts.
Thankfully, all of my family is ok considering where they are in Mobile was hit pretty hard as well.
So many memories, no doubt my elementary and middle schools have been washed away.
They are trying to plug up the levees with barges.
There are bodies and sewage floating everwhere. All that can be seen are what is left of rooftops. The poor people have no where to go and no money to get there.
I'm really not sure what to think.
But I think I will do this as soon as I get some extra money.
From what I understand, all of that is gone. It's been said New Orleans will never recover. They arent letting people back into the city for at least 3 months. When the rescue workers encounter a house with dead bodies, they simply mark the door with an "X" and move on to look for survivors. My brother in law is now on his way down from Mobile, AL to join the search and rescue efforts.
Thankfully, all of my family is ok considering where they are in Mobile was hit pretty hard as well.
So many memories, no doubt my elementary and middle schools have been washed away.
They are trying to plug up the levees with barges.
There are bodies and sewage floating everwhere. All that can be seen are what is left of rooftops. The poor people have no where to go and no money to get there.
I'm really not sure what to think.
But I think I will do this as soon as I get some extra money.
christ
So i accidentally ripped the paint off the wall of my beautiful new apartment. I didnt realize that double sided mounting tape doesnt like to some off. The funny thing is, i was using the tape because i didnt want to put a hole in the wall. Any advice is appreciated on how to fix this little problem.
progress report #1
So today i began breaking down a short film script written by my friend Josh in Atlanta and his inspiration turtle Fred. Put some feelers out for cast and crew and am awaiting resposes. Began budgeting as well.
2005-08-29
Hokay
Hokay. Ive decided its time to shit or get off the pot. I am giving myself until January to make some progress in my chosen field, or I will condemn the rest of my life to cubicle dwelling Dilbert-ness.
Time's running out, its time to cash in my chips.
I will keep a regular journal of my progress in the form of daily blog posts. Please scream at me if there is not one every day.
if something doesnt happen soon, I just may turn into this guy.
More to come.
Time's running out, its time to cash in my chips.
I will keep a regular journal of my progress in the form of daily blog posts. Please scream at me if there is not one every day.
if something doesnt happen soon, I just may turn into this guy.
More to come.
2005-08-27
I have Officially Sold Out
I took a promotion which is making me forego everything i know about how things are done and adopt 'thier way' of doing things, which is WRONG!
im officially selling my soul for health insurance and i feel like im slitting my throat and giving up on all ive worked for. the man has won. Big Brother has won. Sigh.
im officially selling my soul for health insurance and i feel like im slitting my throat and giving up on all ive worked for. the man has won. Big Brother has won. Sigh.
2005-08-19
54.25% Pure. yeah right.
I scored 54 and 1/4 % pure on the classic Purity Test.
ironic, eh?
i think they are asking the wrong questions.
ironic, eh?
i think they are asking the wrong questions.
Risk Assessment
"I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you." --Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, 'full metal jacket'
Risk Assessment
(via Baka San)
Risk Assessment
(via Baka San)
2005-08-17
a reflective ego
I always feel like Death is looking over my shoulder.
Its very difficult for me to make plans since whenever I do, i wonder "will i be alive then?"
Very odd i think.
Am i afraid of the future?
Or have i been so completly bombarded with the facts and statistics of today that I, like many others in Gen X/Y, feel that life itself is worth very little and can be taken at any given moment by any given event?
I think this notion also works itself into my psyche when undertaking new projects, that my subconcious feels it doesnt want to leave anything unfinished, and since i could leave at any moment, whats the point in starting anything?
whats inside that makes me think underneath and sideways?
I frequently feel as if I am part of an experiment, and that i am constantly being tested on my reactions to things, forever thinking them through, rarely acting without weighing consequences. As if "is this the way a normal person would react or should i do it this way because maybe this is the way a normal person would react?"
forever questioning, perhaps i dont trust myself?
I wonder.
hm.
Its very difficult for me to make plans since whenever I do, i wonder "will i be alive then?"
Very odd i think.
Am i afraid of the future?
Or have i been so completly bombarded with the facts and statistics of today that I, like many others in Gen X/Y, feel that life itself is worth very little and can be taken at any given moment by any given event?
I think this notion also works itself into my psyche when undertaking new projects, that my subconcious feels it doesnt want to leave anything unfinished, and since i could leave at any moment, whats the point in starting anything?
whats inside that makes me think underneath and sideways?
I frequently feel as if I am part of an experiment, and that i am constantly being tested on my reactions to things, forever thinking them through, rarely acting without weighing consequences. As if "is this the way a normal person would react or should i do it this way because maybe this is the way a normal person would react?"
forever questioning, perhaps i dont trust myself?
I wonder.
hm.
2005-08-15
2005-08-13
Ice Cream and Orgasms
...2 things I like. Well it took 2 and a half years, but on August 12, 2005, New York finally started to feel like home.Then I began to wonder what I was outrunning all those times I have moved (On average every 6-9 months since leaving home at 17). I was outrunning my dissapointment in myself. Once I have time to sit and think about all I have not accomplished, i leave, providing a "settling in" distraction for a good few months, then once I inevitably get back to a reflective point when I once again realize where I really am in life, its time to move again.
I think this current reflective period is brought on by the fact that I have not watched television in a month and a half and can only get one (soft pop) radio station (which is coming in from Conneticut) in my apartment that is on 24/7 since its too quiet when its just me here. I think i have heard the same KellyClarkson/RobThomas/CountingCrows song about 9,562 times and counting.
btw-interesting to note i got 4 comments on the previous post regarding how to post a link while it seems no one actually WENT TO the webpage i was posting. I love America.
I think this current reflective period is brought on by the fact that I have not watched television in a month and a half and can only get one (soft pop) radio station (which is coming in from Conneticut) in my apartment that is on 24/7 since its too quiet when its just me here. I think i have heard the same KellyClarkson/RobThomas/CountingCrows song about 9,562 times and counting.
btw-interesting to note i got 4 comments on the previous post regarding how to post a link while it seems no one actually WENT TO the webpage i was posting. I love America.
2005-08-12
Bush's Vanity War
ok, i dont know how to make a link so you can just click on it, forgive me, i know the cutting and pasting is horribly difficult, but o it anyway. its worth it.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/theblog/archive/cindy-sheehan/this-is-george-bushas-a_5472.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/theblog/archive/cindy-sheehan/this-is-george-bushas-a_5472.html
Days go by
The days are just a blur. I could swear it is still last week some time. All I have time to do is work, come home and sleep for 8-10 hours depending on how exausted I am, Then get ready to go back to work. Im pretty sure I got the promotion I had hoped for, but that means 3 weeks of training = 70 hour work weeks. Yay. My philosophy is that lower income jobs keep thier intelligent employees by working them too hard for them to have time to find a better job, or even realize they are capable of getting one. My job offers a generous tuition assistance program, only availible to full time employee, most of which are too busy with thier families and thier 40+ hours of work to take advantage of it. It is offered because the company knows not many will be able to take advantage of it.
Oh, and did I mention They are bringing back "Flair"?
(guess where I work)
Ive got to go buy some buttons.
Oh, and did I mention They are bringing back "Flair"?
(guess where I work)
Ive got to go buy some buttons.
2005-08-11
awww....I am le sad....*sniff*
http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/movies/article.adp?id=20050810181309990010
always thought he would be a nice man to meet from the interviews i saw with him. he seemed extremly down to earth and like a nice person.
always thought he would be a nice man to meet from the interviews i saw with him. he seemed extremly down to earth and like a nice person.
HELL YEAH!
http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/music/article.adp?id=20050811005809990018
thats right, stick it to the man!
thats right, stick it to the man!
2005-08-10
2005-08-07
le sigh
ok now im tired and depressed again. this is getting annoying. i dont like drugs, but i may go back on meds just so i can get on with my life.
and i always feel the only reason people talk to me or show me any attention is because they feel sorry for me, that they really think i am pathetic and they are doing a good deed by being nice to me.
thats a whole session in therapy right there.
im taking a nap.
and i always feel the only reason people talk to me or show me any attention is because they feel sorry for me, that they really think i am pathetic and they are doing a good deed by being nice to me.
thats a whole session in therapy right there.
im taking a nap.
2005-08-04
insomnia 2: the return of insomnia
http://www.homestarrunner.com/tgsmenu.html
issues 3 and 4 are best.
issues 3 and 4 are best.
Insomnia
yet again. what to rant about save for the Russian asleep on my floor and my hatred of my job(s). Seems that everyone I am surrounded with is about (on average) 3 years younger than me and still living with thier parents. Very hard to relate to them. they are all very nice people, just unfortunately, not on the same level as I am in terms of responsibilities. I want to be a scientist, an artist, a fashion designer, a musician, a teacher...all things i cannot do because of these responsibilities I have had since the age of 17, and it is very frustrating to see those around having so very little to stress about while also being handed oppurtunites i never had the chance to work for. very frustrating.
I doubt i will call NY my home much longer. Too expensive and unreal.
I doubt i will call NY my home much longer. Too expensive and unreal.
2005-08-02
well
...that was a painful attempt at fitting in. i should just face it: i am not a social animal and hiding under the stairs with my computer is not a bad way to live. I am feeling slighted by my old friends, an outcast among outcasts. im the lone one to escape, to break through to the other side, to expect more from life and from myself. having such high expectations for yourself means you are dissapointed often, but rarely without progress of some sort.
I think my next stop will be Vienna.
I think my next stop will be Vienna.
2005-08-01
hokay
ok so that interesting little bout of depression has come and gone. i still have yet to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring my husband Johnny Depp. (Im sure as soon as he finds out I am interested he will dump that French model chick.)
Got some peeps comin over to the new pad to play poker today, ought to be interesting. Or not. Whatever, its a break from the norm, which is what I need right now. Fear Im falling into the comfortable grind of the normal 9 to 5er, though my hours are far from 9-5. I just worry I am getting too comfortable in my current dead end job and losing the ambition to move up in the world and, eventually, take it over completly. Still working on a super nifty script with my screenwriter friend in Atlanta, but cutting out parts of the original story feels like slitting the throats of my own children. But, alas, its neccessary to make sure the movie isnt 10 hours long.
A thereapist once told me these weblog things were theraputic. We'll see I guess.
Got some peeps comin over to the new pad to play poker today, ought to be interesting. Or not. Whatever, its a break from the norm, which is what I need right now. Fear Im falling into the comfortable grind of the normal 9 to 5er, though my hours are far from 9-5. I just worry I am getting too comfortable in my current dead end job and losing the ambition to move up in the world and, eventually, take it over completly. Still working on a super nifty script with my screenwriter friend in Atlanta, but cutting out parts of the original story feels like slitting the throats of my own children. But, alas, its neccessary to make sure the movie isnt 10 hours long.
A thereapist once told me these weblog things were theraputic. We'll see I guess.
2005-07-31
red bricks
I feel like death is looking over my left shoulder.
I never make plans for more than a couple weeks in advance because i wonder if i will even be alive then, and whats the point of making plans for something when you will be dead?
Whats so great about staying alive?
What if I left? One less dissapointment, one less person that cannot afford to send Christmas presents. Would I even be missed? There is nothing, I feel, left for me here to experience. I cannot support myself, I dont want to sell myself, I dont want to lie. I am done, I am done with this entire thing. The only way out is to become/pretend to be someone Im not. To dress up as someone pretty, someone popular, when underneath im still the new girl with big ears and bad teeth. So I work until i die, and watch my wasted intelligence drift out the window.
Everyone i see is 'well adjusted,' can tolerarate and fit into society. i still feel like the new kid no one wants to acknowledge, sitting in a corner, plotting the demise of humanity.
i dont know why i do things. i have to check the stove 3 or 4 times each time i leave to make sure its turned off, even if i didnt use it that day. i return home several times before i actually leave to make sure the door is locked. i walk back to my car more than twice each time i leave it to make absolutely sure i remembered to put it in park.
do i not trust myself? or am i just compulsive?
and im tired allllllll the time. thats how low paying jobs get you. they pay you just enough to get by, but make sure you are so exausted the next day that you cannot find the energy to look for a better job.
i fall in love with objects sometimes.
little things i see, nothing ever expensive.
i dont buy these things or they would be the only thing i look at or pay attention to.
i dont know why i do this. ive tried to supress this desire and several others on my 'quest for normalcy,' but some will not be ignored unfortunately.
im just tired. i know im not going to fit in or be a part of anything, and that im the only one like me out there. its very lonely to think that the people that love me are merely tolerating me or just holding my hand. perhaps its time to start over. all over again.
I never make plans for more than a couple weeks in advance because i wonder if i will even be alive then, and whats the point of making plans for something when you will be dead?
Whats so great about staying alive?
What if I left? One less dissapointment, one less person that cannot afford to send Christmas presents. Would I even be missed? There is nothing, I feel, left for me here to experience. I cannot support myself, I dont want to sell myself, I dont want to lie. I am done, I am done with this entire thing. The only way out is to become/pretend to be someone Im not. To dress up as someone pretty, someone popular, when underneath im still the new girl with big ears and bad teeth. So I work until i die, and watch my wasted intelligence drift out the window.
Everyone i see is 'well adjusted,' can tolerarate and fit into society. i still feel like the new kid no one wants to acknowledge, sitting in a corner, plotting the demise of humanity.
i dont know why i do things. i have to check the stove 3 or 4 times each time i leave to make sure its turned off, even if i didnt use it that day. i return home several times before i actually leave to make sure the door is locked. i walk back to my car more than twice each time i leave it to make absolutely sure i remembered to put it in park.
do i not trust myself? or am i just compulsive?
and im tired allllllll the time. thats how low paying jobs get you. they pay you just enough to get by, but make sure you are so exausted the next day that you cannot find the energy to look for a better job.
i fall in love with objects sometimes.
little things i see, nothing ever expensive.
i dont buy these things or they would be the only thing i look at or pay attention to.
i dont know why i do this. ive tried to supress this desire and several others on my 'quest for normalcy,' but some will not be ignored unfortunately.
im just tired. i know im not going to fit in or be a part of anything, and that im the only one like me out there. its very lonely to think that the people that love me are merely tolerating me or just holding my hand. perhaps its time to start over. all over again.
2005-07-30
To have good days, you must have bad days...
Hokay, the events of yesterday were as such:
1) i get a letter from the Blood Center i recently donated to, the place that, in writing, told me they would not bother contacting me unless something was wrong (found HIV, hepatitis, etc) with my donation.
So i understandably freak out and tear the letter open while sweating and cursing the postal service.
Apparently i have low cholesterol. Congratulations to me.
2) get to work. a prissy employee confronts me about something i still have no clue about and pretty much bullies me into giving up a good station. as any who have been waiters know, a good station means more money. I am passive enough not to want any drama at work so i just blow it off, but the event pretty much sets the precedence for the remainder of the work day.
3) *MAXI PAD* found by table 69.
yeeeup. thats what i said. i walked by it a couple times thinking it was a piece of paper, but the shape of it kept scaring me. and no one else would touch it, so im the one that ended up getting rid of it while the fat nasty ghetto whores at the table looked at me like they knew nothing of it, when in actuality it probably fell out of one of thier huge purses and they were too embarrassed to pick it up. cunts.
4) Spilled honey mustard all over myself and my busboy in front of customers.
5) Lost $25 of my tips from a mistake by the manager (cunt) and spent ten minutes digging through the garbage to recover a lost giftcard that might help me get that money back.
So....my thoughts are, in order to have really good days, there must be something to compare them to that makes them really good. so there. sigh.
1) i get a letter from the Blood Center i recently donated to, the place that, in writing, told me they would not bother contacting me unless something was wrong (found HIV, hepatitis, etc) with my donation.
So i understandably freak out and tear the letter open while sweating and cursing the postal service.
Apparently i have low cholesterol. Congratulations to me.
2) get to work. a prissy employee confronts me about something i still have no clue about and pretty much bullies me into giving up a good station. as any who have been waiters know, a good station means more money. I am passive enough not to want any drama at work so i just blow it off, but the event pretty much sets the precedence for the remainder of the work day.
3) *MAXI PAD* found by table 69.
yeeeup. thats what i said. i walked by it a couple times thinking it was a piece of paper, but the shape of it kept scaring me. and no one else would touch it, so im the one that ended up getting rid of it while the fat nasty ghetto whores at the table looked at me like they knew nothing of it, when in actuality it probably fell out of one of thier huge purses and they were too embarrassed to pick it up. cunts.
4) Spilled honey mustard all over myself and my busboy in front of customers.
5) Lost $25 of my tips from a mistake by the manager (cunt) and spent ten minutes digging through the garbage to recover a lost giftcard that might help me get that money back.
So....my thoughts are, in order to have really good days, there must be something to compare them to that makes them really good. so there. sigh.
2005-07-24
wtf mate?
why the fuck did i spend all the money on C++ classes if i cant figure out a weblog? I blame the government.
the people upstairs
....need to die. she has a large butt and he looks so completly whipped into submission by such enormous anus that i doubt he realizes he wearing a long sleeved flannel shirt and khaki shorts in 87 degree weather. their only redeeming quality is that they invested in wireless internet, which i now steal with my nifty airport card. ha. ha.
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