i spend most of my life standing around, waiting.
at the post office, at work, at the store, waiting for someone to pay attention to me.
in order to get ahead in this world, you need a skill to rely on, an in demand skill that, while may not be something that you particularly enjoy, will help pay the bills and let you pursue what you really want to do.
Many people have the helping hand of thier parents or loved ones to give them a boost up towards the american dream. alot of us, however, never have that oppurtunity and end up struggling through life just to get by. we may be smart and ambitious in our pursuits, but that means a whole lot of nothing if you cant pay for it. for example, i would like to return to college to finish up a degree in something that, while im not going to love, will pay my bills thus giving me the peace of mind i need to survive.
classes begin Jan 28th.
im working 3 jobs at a minimum of 60 hours a week. im trying to get some of my own stuff done on the side as well as being in physical therapy 3 times a week for an hour at a time. i really hate one of my jobs and think i can actually afford to quit, but they have me by the health insurance, which i need for the physical therapy, etc. one of the other ones is just a bar job one day a week which is a two minute walk from where i live, so theres no point in leaving that. the last one is a little office job 2 days a week that i am trying out to see if i can actually do something outside of the restaurant field, plus i am anxious to learn how an office works since one day i wish to run my own business,
all this is such a delicate balance - and i want to progress in my life so much, but i cant since if i try to return to school now i will collapse and die i think.
and the man wins again.