Bush Bush Bush

George Bush is visiting the Queen of England.

He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient
government? Are there any tips you can give me?"

"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people."

Bush frowns, "But how do I know the people around me are really
intelligent?"

The Queen takes a sip of tea.

"Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence
riddle."


The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send The Prime
Minister in here, would you?"

Tony Blair walks into the room. "Your Majesty...."

The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and
father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your
sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Blair answers, "That would be me!"

"Yes! Very good!" says the Queen.


Back at the White House, Bush calls in his vice president, Dick
Cheney.

"Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child.
It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on
that one."

Dick Cheney goes to his advisers and asks every one, but none can
give him an answer.

Finall! y, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin
Powell's shoes in the next stall.

Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and
father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is
it?"

Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"

Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"
Cheney goes back to the Oval Office and asks to speak with Bush.


"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle.
It's Colin Powell."

Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his
face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!

birthdays suck.

im old, goddamnit.
wacky jews make me feel better though.
jewjewbee

Lonely and bored

what to do? i know i should be productive.......so easy to be lazy. and my bed is so comfy.
maybe i will dye my hair.

My entire world looks brick red.

My entire world looks brick red.
Ive realized I am incredibly bored with life. Ive experienced every emotion i can imagine in one form or another. there is no way i can accomplish all that i had hoped for at this point, so my ambition, my drive is pretty much shot.
Im bored.
the only reason i move at all is because i am bored sitting still for to long.
I have incredible urges to self medicate, so much so that i have officially labeled myself an alchoholic.
If im fucked up then maybe i wont realize what really isnt there.

Im tired of being fed life in convenient 30 minute blocks with laugh track included.
but somehow it makes me feel better if i laugh when i am supposed to laugh. even if i dont really laugh.